you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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