Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
