Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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