I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
