You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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