I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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