rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
