have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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