i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
