she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
