Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
