He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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