I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize