either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
