He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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