I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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