Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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