So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Your dad touched me again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
