Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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