dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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