You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
