Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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