I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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