There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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