Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
