What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
