Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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