I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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