Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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