I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
