i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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