Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
