the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
