if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your cock deserves a montage
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
