Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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