so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
