Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
