I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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