He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
