Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
