That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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