I like to think it a success when the cops are called
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
