I cannot find my penis.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
