Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
