D3 body, D1 cock
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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