he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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