he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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