i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
