he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
