you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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