This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
