As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
