anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize