that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
