boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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