we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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