If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You need a sexual gate keeper
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
