is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
