I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
