I want to have your abortion
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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