absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
