good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize