If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
