Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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