Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize