I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
