I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
