I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
