guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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