mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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