I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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