I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize