if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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